The Crave

So what's on the other side? Couples from countries where arranged marriages are the norm would say that Westerners place too much value on passion. Far more integral to a successful marriage, they say, is commitment. Of course, we don't like the thought of that. We all want to marry someone with whom we're madly in love — often forgetting that love is a combination of passion and commitment. Probably more of the latter. What carries you through when you're not feeling it? Yeah. Commitment. Dedication. Even routine. Westerners divorce each other (or quit their jobs) in droves when their infatuations appear to dwindle. Meanwhile, arranged marriage couples seem to grow more fond of each other over time. Our modern disposition says that passion — whether towards a person, a cause, or a profession like writing — ought to always precede commitment. But here’s the thing: it also works the other way around. Dedication begets passion. When we commit ourselves to something with steadfast resolve, it often causes passion to grow. And there’s a simple explanation for that: We tend to be passionate about things that we are good at and know a lot about — things in which we've invested time and energy. When it comes to writing, commitment, consistency, and resolve are far more important than excitement or even enthusiasm. Passion is a nice-to-have, but it will never be a constant. It shouldn’t be relied upon and it cannot predict skill. But it will grow as your expertise grows. As you write for years, gain specialized knowledge, and become an expert in your field, you'll find yourself more passionate about what you're doing because you've put in the work. Good writers and good lovers both know that real passion is cultivated.